Split Second

Today I saw my fiance for the first time in about 3 months.
Im pretty sure that was the 3RD happiest moment of my life.
1st- My sons birth
and 2nd- When he proposed.
When i saw him walking towards me, my heart skipped a beat and then stopped for a split second but which felt like a lifetime. I was shaking and hands were all clamey. I was wondering if he still looked at me the same, i was wondering in those 3 months that we were away if he was doubting us, or regretting anything.
In that split second, I was scared.
But then the split second was over and he hugged me, said he loved me, wiped his tears away and said lets get the hell outta here(:
Hahaa.
In that split second, i had doubt. But then i bounced back to reality and realized that this is for real.
This is gonna happen.
Lets go world<3

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger

I cant say that i hate my life.
At first i thought that i should have just crawled into a hole and be alone for the rest of my life.
But as it gets closer and closer to the day that i get to see you, Im more and more excited.
<3
Like alot of girls, I have had those days that are terrible.
Those days where you just hate your life and it feels like everybody in the world is out to get you for no reason,
and you have nothing else to say or do because you just feel like your not good enough for anybody in this world.
You feel the need to waste your life with drugs and alcohol and harm yourself because you dont feel worthy enough for anybody?
Ive had those days.
All because people are judging you on the outside on how you look. Because your not as attractive as the head cheerleader or your not as skinny as a track star. Or because people just dont GET you.
Ive had those days.
But as i get older and older and i start to realize how good I have it.... I dont start to worry as much anymore.
I get more and more happy.
Because those people that are putting you down because your flaws are just jealous(:
Thanks to YOU Im not broken hearted, Thanks to YOU I can look ahead in life and be proud.
Thanks to YOU!..... I can be me! and YOU love me for me. Not because Im trying to be someone else.
What doesnt kill you, Makes you a HELL of a lot stronger.

No longer a teen; but not yet a woman

So today is my 20th birthday.
Im finally no longer a teen.
Its great(:
I mean 20 isnt 21 but its getting there.
Im getting closer and closer to becoming a woman.
Dont get my wrong, i am a female.
But i have not fully matured into a grown woman.
There are so many things that I need to do in my life and i feel like my whole world is fast fowarding
into time and i cant slow it down.
I wish there was a pause button in life, so that i can stop, take a look, and think.
Im 20, and soon enough ill be 30...
Then ill  be 45 and then 50.
And my parents may or may not be alive.
I need to grow up before everyone around me is gone.
Now that i am no longer a teenager i need to step up and be an adult,
be a sister, a daughter, a wife and a mother that i know i can be.
So for everyone who feels the need to put me down, just stop and rememberr.
Im trying. Im doing my absolute best to be the best i can be.
And it may take a few days, a week or a month to become that best, but at least it will happen.
I W I L L be a woman.
I W I L L be that person that my son looks up to.
I will be stronger<3